Which Drink for Your Sun Sign?
(Dates are approximate and will depend on the exact time and location of your birth.)
Aries (20 March - 19 April)
Fiery Aries are renowned for their get up and go attitude to life - try them with a shot of tequila or vodka or, in emergencies, pure alcohol. Tomato juice in the vodka makes the drink longer than may be ideal but the concept of a "Bloody Mary" should be sufficiently violent to retain its appeal to these militaristic characters.
Taurus (20 April - 20 May)
Despite their abiding love affair with the cocoa bean, some Taureans refuse to drink hot chocolate since they see it as a criminal waste of the most important ingredient. So forget the latest chocolate liqueur; good plain beer (none of your fancy foreign brews, please) served at the right temperature, night after night, is probably a better option.
Gemini (21 May - 20 June)
Geminis are often more interested in the contents of the conversation than in the contents of their glass. A variety of peanuts, olives and crisps, will satisfy their desire to nibble while a musical corkscrew may appeal to their sense of fun. Quiz nights should prove popular - unless the format becomes too predictable; then they will be off like a rocket in search of the next trend.
Cancer (21 June 22 July)
The Jack Daniel’s advertising campaign was surely made for Cancerians whose love of tradition is legendary. Cancerians are also known for their ability to hoard, so laying down a cellar full of wine or maturing a malt whisky for a minimum of twelve years is child’s play to them - especially if they can give it to members of their much treasured family.
Leo (23 July - 23 August)
Anything to do with royalty will resonate with the kings and queens of the zodiac. Chivas Regal, a King’s Peg (brandy and benedictine) or Queen’s Peg (whisky and benedictine) should all find favour. One Leo I knew inevitably ran an Inn rather than a common Public House and sprayed the sign in gold lettering on a gold background.
Virgo (24 August - 22 September)
Virgos are usually concerned about their health – it was probably a Virgo who invented alcohol free beer and Diet Coke. Spotting a Virgo in a pub is easy - it is the person with a furrowed brow, who is reading the contents label on the side of the bottle and consulting their pocket manual for the effect of additives while sipping an (organic) fruit juice or mineral water.
Libra (23 September - 22 October)
The barman’s nightmare is a busy pub, a long order and a Libran who is being asked what they want to drink. Weighing up the possibilities can take ages; get out of the logjam by suggesting something that looks nice. Appeal to their sense of beauty and their sense of balance - two drinks, one in each hand, may help.
Scorpio (23 October - 22 November)
Whoever asks "What’s your poison?" when offering to buy a drink is probably a dark and mysterious Scorpio. They were only joking. Weren’t they? You may never know. James Bond – an archetypal Scorpio character whose life revolved around espionage, assassinations and beautiful women - always favoured the Dry Martini. Shaken but not stirred. It may look pretty on the outside but beware of a hidden kick.
Sagittarius (23 November - 21 December)
These are larger than life characters whose enthusiasm knows no bounds. They will seldom order a paltry half pint of beer; it is more likely they will drink a yard of ale with ease or champagne by the Jeroboam. Their love of travel may lead them to sample an exotic liqueur distilled from mangos, lychees or coconuts.
Capricorn (22 December - 19 January)
Capricorns are faced with a dilemma when they see the notice that says "Happy Hour - 5 to 6 p.m." A bargain is almost irresistible but drinking in the daytime is frightfully improper. One pint of beer, sipped at the table in the corner, at precisely 8 p.m. before retiring for an early night is the more usual Capricorn scenario.
Aquarius (20 January - 18 February)
Aquarians can switch quite happily between lager, margaritas and double measures of whisky. Except on the days when they are teetotal. They will enliven any pub gathering with their off the wall humour. Except when they don’t want to talk to anyone. The only thing for certain is that these unemotional people will never cry in their beer. Except when they do.
Pisces (19 February - 19 March)
"Drinks like a fish" is a phrase which was invented for Pisceans. And what else can you expect when their zodiac sign is two fishes? They need a continuous supply of liquid - tea works just as well as beer and may even be preferable for these sensitive souls, who sometimes find hangovers easier to gain than to lose.
Copyright © Jonathon Clark 2020